Why do kids bully & how can we stop it?
Too many young lives have been irrevocably damaged at the hands of their peer group.
Despite the good intentions of schools to address bullying, faulty beliefs about child & adolescent interactions undermine attempts to address it adequately, if at all. And though teachers and parents have some awareness of the scale of the problem, much of it is hiding in plain sight.
Unfortunately, erroneous ideas about bullying persist in education circles, contradicting research that tells a very different story.
We have to separate fiction from fact:
Bullying is not conflict. It is the unprovoked harassment of a peer for the entertainment of the peer group as a whole.
Bullying typically takes the form of charismatic, aggressive or popular learners targeting a classmate for ridicule, and orchestrating others to participate.
The targeted child or teen is deliberately ostracised and excluded, sometimes by their own friends. Rapidly, the targeted child becomes isolated and alone, which is the intention of the group. Research has revealed that peers targeting a classmate in this way are very much aware that this is hurtful, and disturbingly, are motivated by the victim’s distress.
Bullying comprises a variety of malicious physical and psychological pranks and put-downs, including online harassment.
Utilising these methods, those who bully garner power and prestige in the school, while the bullied child comes to be seen as the “loser” who is too sensitive. Unfortunately, teachers and parents often endorse this imbalance of power by favouring influential learners and looking down on “weak” children.
Typical responses to children seeking help for bullying are, “ignore it” and “stand up for yourself”. Such responses contravene learners’ constitutional rights and are a gross dereliction of the duty of care.
Bullying is anti-social behaviour, legislated against in the Schools Act and elsewhere.
Crucially, it is not true that bullying is a “normal” part of childhood or adolescent development, and that it “teaches” resilience or skills. On the contrary, bullying disrupts the healthy trajectory of school life and is indicative of a mismanaged environment.
Bullying wrecks child & adolescent happiness and must be addressed at all ages. Bullying is not inevitable and it can be prevented.
The truth about bullying is an unpleasant darkness to fathom, but fathom it we must. Denialism does not help. Decades of local and international research into this phenomenon is unequivocal on the matter: bullying causes lifelong harm and is correlated with child & adolescent suicide.
Bullying is complex, multilayered behaviour that requires cogent monitoring. To this end, expert information must inform school policies and school-based interventions.
Educators have a responsibility to protect children from harm, irrespective of the age of those causing it. Dismissing complaints of bullying due to assumptions about children & teens not having “intent” in their actions is a significant factor in the rise of bullying, as is labelling kids “tell-tales” for reporting it. Bullying is intentionally nasty behaviour, which differentiates it from conflict. Teachers need to know the difference.
Educators have a responsibility to rehabilitate children who show patterns of perpetrating harm.
School Management has a responsibility to ensure their institutions are safe spaces for ALL children, and that their staff are sufficiently trained to handle disclosures of bullying and intervene effectively.
Bullying is serious and its consequences are far-reaching. Therefore, an evidence-based approach must take precedence if we are to turn things around for our learners.
Bullying is a form of abuse that exists for its own sake. This unsettling reality requires expert understanding and interventions.
Are you interested in learning more, either as a parent, school Head or educator? The Teacher Training Lab provides training and consulting that addresses bullying comprehensively, incorporating: psychosocial dynamics, legislative frameworks, policy and processes, and evaluating a school’s overall discipline approach and design. Bullying operates contextually. We unpack how bullying differs from conflict, and how to educate learners on pro-social behaviour.
Jacqui Aires is an experienced educator with anti-bullying expertise. She has researched bullying for two decades, written policies, advised, consulted and presented on this topic, and facilitates workshops for teachers and school leaders, management and SGBs. To find out more, email Jacqui at www.teachertraininglab@gmail.com.
Staff development Talk or Workshop
Anti-bullying policies & procedures
Talk for parents and/or learners
Training & lesson plans for Life Orientation teachers